No! Don’t Stop…

testing testing…because i posted like 4 yesterday, but disappeared

Some of you might know that Mrs already back to work.. erm.. official one.. (she’s still a 24-7 homemaker by profession also, i love you dear :P).. after a year long sabbatical.. it was quite a mixed feeling though at first to get back on to routine of waking up the Jr and Miss very early in the morning and bringing them to TokMa’s.. especially after you have all-prepared to go to work, and discover both of you little one hugging each other on bed.. ah.. so tempting..

Anyway.. our time spent with them are getting lesser now.. Mrs working late and commute to work.. so I fetch her from LRT station everyday and we normally reach home by 9-10.. so, only then till lights-off at 10.30pm, we’ll spend our quality time together..

On nite.. we were playing together, and i babytalked with Nayla.. saw that attention more on her sister.. Faeq pretended to be merajuk and sat on a corner.. immediately i went sweet-talk to him “Ala.. Baby nih.. dont merajuk.. come here.. Baby..”

Being macho as always.. he replied.. “I bukan baby la.. Nayla baby.. I ko-ko (big brother)”..

Heh.. later.. after lights-off.. as usual, we recited our prayers and set for sleep.. Faeq turned and said, “I want to hug and sleep with mummy la..” (all of us are sleeping on the same bed.. only matters is who’s hugging whom)..

I then said to him.. “abis tu.. who want to sleep with me?” and pretended merajuk..

He went to me and said….

“Ala baby ni..”

My little Faeq is not a morning person.. he normally sleeps at 12midnite and wakes up around 10am.. most of the time, he’ll pull everyone nearby to join his contagious sleepiness..

But today, he woke up as early as 5.50 am.. without question, brushed his teeth, took shower and had breakfast together and ready for his first day at school.. waaaaaa.. my son dah besar..

All the best and take care Nemo Faeq..

Latest pictures of the food to my soul!

p/s: Please ignore some stuffs that still needs to be tweaked. *wink

What do you do when you simply just see it deep in you…
Somehow you just have that sixth sense about certain things…
And mostly it really do happened…
Just that it doesn’t say when.
But you do know it’s coming.
Or so you think.
Do you wait and see; still believing in it…
Or you just bury it deep; happening would just be a coincidence.

I like to think I have the 6th eye. Do you?

I Look I See by Yusof Islam
I look, I look, I look, I see
I see a world of beauty
I touch, I touch, I touch, I feel
I feel a world around so real
And everything I do
I dedicate to You
Cause You made me
I am for You

I listen, listen, listen, I hear
I hear the words of God so clear
I read, I read, I read, I know
It helps my knowledge grow
And everything we do
We dedicate to You
Cause You made us
We are for You
I listen, listen, listen, I hear

He sent the Prophet to show us the way
He made Religion perfect that Day
Peace be upon him, upon him we pray
Salatullah, wa salamu ‘alyhi

I sleep I sleep, I sleep, I dream
I dream I’m in a garden green
I wish, I wish, I wish I pray
I pray to be here everyday
And everything I do
I dedicate to You
Cause You made me
I am for You

I work, I work, I work, I strive
To make something of my life
I seek, I seek, I seek, I find
I find another hill to climb
And everything we do
We dedicate to You
Cause You made us
We are for You
I look, I look, I look, I see

He sent the Prophet to show us the way
He made Religion perfect that Day
Peace be upon him, upon him we pray
Salatullah, wa salamu ‘alyhi (x2)

After reading The Secret, I am trying to implement some of the stuffs there.

Basic principles: If you want something, imagine getting and having it already. What would you do etc.

My interpretation: The basic principles plus some major ikhtiar (strive), doa (prayer) and faith. So takde la Mat Jenin sangat (not just dreaming without doing anything).

What is on the slides of my mind currently:

1. Packing up, Garage sale, Donate stuffs
2. Missing Daddy (for awhile), then missing everyone else
3. Me wearing that ‘costume’
4. Me and kids have more time together, which involves books and water and sand
5. The blue sky
6. The sand
7. The ‘gold’ sea
8. House of God
9. Hijr Calendar, prayers, hajj, umrah
10. Zen doing his (currently) dream
11. My mom freaking out (at first), then overjoyed
12. All’s well, end’s well
13. And Alhamdullillah God loves us, bless us
14. Thank you, God

Thank you God.

p/s: Try it…hope your dream come true.

When Faeq turned 1, I was quite afraid since he hasnt utter many words..

When he was two, his ‘pelat’ still there.. and many couldnt really understand what he really said..

But now, I think he’s the most Kaypochi in the house..

Ambition

One day, I asked him about his ambition.

Daddy : When you are big, what are you going to be?

Faeq : I want to be a ‘piwhet’

Daddy : Do you mean pilot? Thats so nice.. you want to fly us on your plane? (btw, it was daddy’s first ambition until he had to wear glasses since standard 3)..

Faeq : No, with ship. I want to fight.. Like this “Bang, Bang!!”

Daddy : Pirate?

Faeq : Yeah, Pirate!

Honey, ask him to watch House or Grey’s anatomy more, please..

Read also : Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV

I haven’t posted anything for sooo long, and I have like a zillion drafts somewhere in the web drive and up in my head. Sheesh! Procrastinating?!!! Busy?!!! All of the above. It’s true when people say being a homemaker is way harder than any other job. It’s a 365-24-7 kinda job. And the task is always the same. Not quite challenging tho. However, the challenge is when you have kids. Educating them. Controlling them. Disciplining them. Way way challenging. Well enough of that.

So my dearest wrote about his achievements. And I shall tell you mine (the major ones): 1) Of course, Nayla 2) Me being a homemaker. Who would have thought of Shariza Hamzah being able to stay home; with 2 kids, cooking, washing, cleaning…ask anyone who knows me during me wee-years (younger of course), I am no material for a homemaker. My mom would have aye-ed on that in a sec. No doubts on that. So would my late grandma. So would my aunties etc. I was hardly in the kitchen. And well, my parents say my room has always been like ‘kucing nak beranak’ aka most untidy room in the whole house. Et cetera. Everyone was worried when I wanted to get married, I wasn’t a material for being a wife either, and guess what, some still worry. So how was/am I as a homemaker, dear?!!!

What I hope for for this coming year:
As my mother-in-law texted me earlier, “Kebahagiaan dan keberkatan” - happiness and blessings. Indeed. That’s the first in the prayer. Forgiveness. Content.

Now, here are some materialistics stuffs or some to-do list.

1) Zen to get him currently ideal job
2) Me to get my currently ideal job
3) Faeq to go to some kindy or daily playschool
4) Zen to get new shoes
5) Zen to get new specs
6) Me to get my ideal weight
7) Me to clean my debts and start going financially free
Me to save more $$$, which means I need to go get more too
9) Me to get my iPhone
10) All on the list to be checked out by the end of the year

oh ya ya. I forgot. We to be always young, happy and blessed, and so does everyone!

Happy New Year! May this year be THE year for all. Many happy returns. Prosperity and longevity to everyone; in health, wealth and spirituality!

Ya ya.. yet another new year.. 2008 is here..

but what are my achievements in 2007?

Hmmm.. perhaps a few :

• Nayla, Nayla, Nayla
• Sha’s on her sabbatical for almost a year
• Ah.. voted as dad of the year candidate after dressed up as a clown on Faeq’s  3rd bday.. although only by my fellow buddies..

On Faeq, (not solely mine, but ours)

• Potty-trained; thanks to you, dear
• Auto-covering his eyes when seeing kissing / *ehem* scene on TV; again, thanks to you, dear
• ah.. not to forget, TV junkie.. hahaha.. are we supposed to be proud when he can recognize our favourite tv shows namely House, Heroes, CSI & Prison Break only by seeing snippets on TV??.. (we only watch Desperate Housewives & Greys Anatomy when he’s not around/asleep)..  today, he asked me, pointing to small pic of Zachary Quinto on the net.. “ni Heroes kan, daddy?”.. guilty as charged.. You are so Zens’..

My mom’s next door neighbour is sending her daughter or was it son to Australia soon, which meant that there will be no kids in the house. And she was saying how quiet it will be then. How her their life have revolved around their kids. And how I will know it later on. Well I know that already.

Being a mom-at-home, 95% of my time revolved around them. And now that I am looking for a job, I would say that it revolved around them too, in which it meant that working would also mean that what I am doing is for them (well for us too actually). *About trying to get a job, well there’s still the dilemma, but I am still trying to apply for THE job, yet have not received any. Kalo ada rezeki, insyaAllah.

Anyway, not being with the kids at home, well sometimes you are sooo glad of the timeout. Yet, there’s always that lonely feeling. Kids bring so much into ones life. Their laughter. Their antics. It keeps us sane, after a hard day at work. Or even after a huge argument.

I couldn’t feel more blessed. And thankful.

I don’t know whether I am qualified to be labeled as a good mom. Yet, I am still trying to be the best. However, I am proud to say that I am not a bad mom (and I think no one should judge another as a bad mom or say that one is not a good mother). All mothers have maternal instincts, and I am sure that in every decision, she would probably think that that’s the best decision for her kid (whether we think it fits or not).

However it is, once we give birth to a child, our life revolves around it. Our choices. Our decisions. All derived from and for them. Maybe when they go off to school later, or get married, then only our time comes. And although I am anxious for that (having our time, not the marrying part tho), I am also anxious to not let them grow too fast or too soon. I am enjoying my time yelling and getting upset over Faeq’s mischief (”Sorry. Sorry” - if I got angry. “Ok. Ok dah!” - when I got angry after telling him to put down the camera eg after a zillion time). And guilty as charged, I am also enjoying Nayla’s clinging to me or when her eyes just wonder looking for me. And I think Zen also enjoyed his time with Nayla this morning at 4am when she couldn’t sleep while Faeq was hugging and sleeping with me - Zen didn’t continue his sleep after that, and went straight to work at 8.40am.

The amazing things we do for our kids.

Faeq and Nayla, I just want you to know that it’s been my pleasure to have you guys in my life - always will be. If there is such thing as kids getting to choose their own parents from above, well thank you for choosing us.

Thank you God for this pleasure of ours!